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Writer's pictureJustin Whippo

Dark Floors (2008)

My quick rating - 5.1/10. I went into this movie knowing nothing about it being a "Lordi" film. That being said, I am glad to have found this review from someone named "flamewall" located in Finland (the movie is Finnish).

Here is his review: "I got to say that I went to see this movie with low expectations. I didn't believe that a Lordi movie could be good because I actually couldn't imagine it as a whole. Though, after I saw the movie I was amazed at how well the writers and the director pulled it off. It is often said that horror is the most delicate type of movie because there is only a slight difference between scary and ridiculous. but this doesn't concern Dark Floors because it is not (at least in my mind) a full-blooded horror movie. The movie has many horror elements but doesn't still come off as horror-ish. That doesn't make it bad it just means that you can't go into the theater wishing that you will be scared out of your nickers. The visual and audio feel of the movie was excellent, and there is nothing anyone can say about that. The plot did leave an annoying amount of plot holes, the ending didn't really clear any of them up, and the viewer was just left to guess what the plot was all about. Still, it didn't bother half as much as the under-use of the Lordi band members. I have never liked Lordi and never listened to them but while watching this movie I became interested in the different monsters they play. Sadly, the plot did hardly anything at all to use the unique backgrounds and looks of the different ghoul parts from the different superpowers they all demonstrated. What I am saying is that I would have liked this movie to be more about the monsters than the victims... really who gave a goddamn thing about what happened to the all-knowing copper or the businessman type. The only character I got even a bit curious was the weird hobo with superpowers and a weird telepathic relationship with the girl but he is never explained in any way(a big mistake). In retrospect, I think they could have done much better, but I also think there is a lot of good in this film, and I hope it will be a financial success. There is just one thing Finns can't tolerate: a successful Finnish movie if it is not a drama." (That review was heavily fixed by Grammarly in case you look it up)

My take on the movie as a whole is an interesting mix of “monsters”, ghosts, and zombies (updated again 9/18/23). This flick does have some decent practical effects. Now at least you can say you’ve now seen a Finnish horror film (The most expensive movie ever made in Finland at the time) even if it is pretty damn nonsensical. The obstacles the characters would overcome were completely uneven with some way too easy to defeat some of the threats. Director Pete Riski never tells us why the mask-wearing Vikings are so angry and the writers left way too many plot holes and unanswered questions to be rated any higher than I gave it. I assume many will go far lower due to the plot being all over the place with no resolution. The atmosphere and overall ambiance of the flick are what carries it though. Scenes are well put together even if the locations can be confusing. In case you are wondering, in 2006, Lordi won Eurovision partially due to the shock value of walking on stage dressed up like the monsters that appear in this movie. Video here.

Apparently, I reviewed this years ago as well LOL (6/14/14): Movie review: "Dark Floors" Well Lordi made their way onto the screen. The movie has tons of atmosphere, some are creepy just by being so bizarre and empty. The actors (winking at you little girl) were good. The pacing was done well, story itself led to a nice WTF at the end. Kills were slightly repetitive. Don't expect to understand this movie, so sit back and enjoy. Oh, the ghost effects were good btw.

A few streamers along with Amazon have this one for rent or own.

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