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Easter Evil (2024)

My quick rating - 0.9. Two Easter "horror" flix popped up this year and I have been given good information that one of them is awful so I'll check out this one. Jared Masters has dropped some #turkey-level flix already so I am not expecting much here. Boobs seem to be par for the course in his movies so I can expect plenty of topless women. I am pretty sure of the 3 characters I have heard so far, it is Masters twice so it is another vanity project on the way. And I looked on IMDB, he plays Trinity Vanderbilt / Kelly Green / Bellhop / Rabbit. The other actor Elizabeth Rath who plays Bunny O'Braska should be in line for the next Austin Powers flick since she has the 60s go-go girl look down perfectly. 38 minutes of these two talking about absolutely nothing and this has to be part of the joke since neither one of them could act their way out of a building evacuation. Maybe if the fact that Bunny is hiding out from her boyfriend to be a dancer in Vegas and not a secretary was an important plot point, this boring drivel would matter but it didn't make a shade of difference. Finally, Bunny goes and meets up with her blind date which ends up being someone in an Easter bunny costume and gives her a bad-tasting egg so she slaps them. Unfortunately, that was a dream though so don't get your hopes up for anything actually occurring in this borefest. Or was it lol? I am trying to make this movie more enjoyable somehow. And so were they since the addition of creepy music was supposed to somehow add tension while the bunny costume person makes the bed at the motel. I sincerely hope these two were high while filming this workout scene or whatever the hell you would call this. That is the only sane excuse for not only recording this but also after the fact in distributing it. "Don't you have anything around here that could inflict some real pain?" HOW about making them WATCH this movie!!!! There is not a single redeeming quality in this waste of digital space. The stabbing effects are the sounds from video games with swords clashing (maybe For Honor?) I am at a loss for words in just how painful that was. I don't even know how to classify this since there isn't a moment of laughter, not a second of horror, and never an iota of entertainment. Not even close to a so dumb it is funny type flick. Is "What the fuck did I just watch" a category? #turkey is my only way to sum it up.

Justwatch doesn't have any streamers for you so you might miss this GEM.

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