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Writer's pictureJustin Whippo

Fire Island (2023)

Updated: Jul 19, 2023

My quick rating - 2,0/10. That scene in that persons basement, i mean, the bar where the dude sang was WAY too long. That was the thing that jumped out at me the mot during the watch of this #turkey. It is always a bad sign when a movie runs for 83 minutes and it seems WAY too long. Nothing happened for about the first half hour except a tad bit of attempted character development of a bunch of people that cannot act their way out of a cardboard box. They all don't seem to like each other so not even sure why they were scripted to be friends in this flick. I think the point of this little getaway was to avoid COVID so not sure why they all seem to do everything possible to catch it? Stupid stuff like that written into the non-existent plot were just too much to take seriously. They are fleeing to this island to try and get there depressed buddy to hook up with some other guy after his previous boyfriend died. Then some dude in a deer skull mask shows up and starts killing people. That is the extent of this one in a nutshell. There is quite a bit of cringe-worthy drama sprinkled in with the tame murders. There isn't even much in the lines of fun gore effects to get you interested. This all leads to a painfully forced twist that is so predictable that you have guessed it long before it happens unless you just couldn't be bothered with paying attention. If that is the case, I don't blame you at all. Even if you can find this one, don't watch it. You have been warned.

Nothing listed on Justwatch but it is a Showtime original so maybe the Paramount+ bundle they have going?

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