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Writer's pictureJustin Whippo

Teddiscare (2024)

My quick rating - 2.2/10. What the hell is this crap? They didn't even try with "Teddie" being anything but some dolt in a store-bought costume. And a cheap-ass mascot-looking outfit at that, not even remotely close to what the poster is depicting. Speaking of the poster, the movie itself has absolutely nothing to do with what it appears to be. The majority of the movie is Tim Hatch as Duncan talking to his stuffed animals. There is some stupid conversation going on about Duncan trying to keep his family's land after his father dies even after being told to stay away from it. I would bet you turn this flick off long before subjecting yourself to the plot. The first few minutes being highlighted by really poor CGI splatter while a few chickens are attacked would just about do it for most people. I just hate turning off a movie after I start it. The actors are horrendous, there are no effects minus the two or three times they throw that stupid blood effect in and the plot is so painfully boring. I am going to guess that this is Mark Polonia's thing after scrolling real quick on IMDB and noticing a general theme of poorly rated low-budget flix. On purpose or not, the movie isn't amusing nor is it campy. It is just plain moronic. You have already seen the highlight of the entire ordeal, and that is the poster below. If you are a glutton for punishment like I am, the animated Teddy Bear during the credits was kinda cute. I have pointed out two positive things about this piece of entertainment and neither are actually in the movie. You have been warned.

As of 05.24.24, Amazon has the dubious honor of being the only streamer with this one.

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